The age-old problem of fathers and children is unlikely to ever be exhausted. But, nevertheless, there are no difficulties that a person could not overcome if he really wants it.

Is this the question of love or instruction?

Children, and especially adolescents, really feel falsity in a relationship, when parents verbally declare one thing, and act in a completely different way. There is such a popular wisdom: no matter how you raise a child, he will still grow up like parents. Whether their parents want it or not, they always bring up their children by their own example. And in this regard, it is worth asking a question: is there any point in straining and telling the child common truths about how he should live if he sees with his own eyes an example of how these truths do not work in the case of his parents.

It would be much more effective to just live in accordance with your own convictions and explain to the child why you live that way and why you think this way of life is right for yourself.

The child may not agree with your choice, but if you are honest and sincere with him, then most likely he will respect your choice. If the child does not want to repeat the life path of the parents, then the parents face a rather complicated and sometimes contradictory task: to be able to understand and not push the teenager away from him if his view of life values ​​does not coincide with the parent.

Such a teenager with special strength needs unconditional parental love. It is imperative for him to realize that his parents accept him for who he is, although they regret the child’s misunderstanding, from their point of view, of his life's attitudes and his place in this life. Attempts by parents in this situation to teach the “unconscious” teenager to the mind can only provoke fierceness and estrangement from his parents, which certainly will not bring him any benefit. Thus, the biblical parable “about the prodigal son” will serve as a classic example of the unconditional “acceptance” of your child.

What if the teenager doubts the sincerity of parental love?

The aggravation of feelings and emotions of a teenager is explained by the complex organic reorganization that occurs during this period in his body, and, first of all, in his nervous and hormonal system. And the responsibility of parents in this regard is to help their growing child go through the stage of growing up with the least loss. At this moment, it becomes very important for a teenager to be taken seriously, but at the same time, he can act like a capricious child.

Parental wisdom, attention and patience, combined with strength of mind and self-confidence will be the beacon of peace and peace that a teenager needs in a stormy sea of ​​passions, fears and doubts overcoming him. If parents also experience life difficulties during this period and cannot cope with their own problems, then the situation for the teenager is significantly complicated, since the beacon of wisdom and peace no longer shines for him from the parent's harbor.And when the parents, unable to cope with their problems, shift some of them to the shoulders of the teenager, then here it’s completely write, it’s gone. And far from always the psyche of the growing organism is able to adequately cope with such a double load.

A teenager always acutely feels when parents are insincere, even if the parents themselves do not give themselves a report. If the teenager's parents are confident and self-sufficient people who sincerely love him and are always honest with him, then it will not be difficult for them to find a common language with their beloved child. Those who have not yet managed or have not found the strength to take their own lives in their own hands should understand that the teenage maturation of their child is just such a period when it is no longer possible to put such things into a long box. It is time for a change for the whole family.